The lockdown has forced a spotlight on every relationship, revealing the true state of it (whether we want to look or not). Although difficult for some, in the long run, this should be regarded as a gift. Instead of viewing the lockdown time as misspent, we could potentially be saving ourselves from years of wasted precious time..
There’s nothing like being shut in a confined space with just your other half for 3 months to draw attention to unresolved issues or discovering new ones. In fact, given the insurmountable size of the elephant in the room, it is quite an astonishing level of avoidance you have mastered. Sound unpleasantly familiar? With a 40% increase in divorces, the pandemic has brought a plethora of harsh reality dishes to the global table. So, should the elephant be so big you can no longer escape the room, read on. Here are some common relationship situations and how to deal.
1.When You Should Wait and See How Your Relationship Progresses
2020 has been one hell of a dive for everyone (apart from makers of disinfectant and face masks). Nothing is normal and stress is at an all-time high. Should you find yourselves at loggerheads and bickering over nothing, it may not be doom and gloom, just frustration. Being cooped up together with nothing else to focus on (other than hyped-up news reports), will cause the best-suited couples to fall out. If you feel you love each other, and the constant bickering is over nothing serious, just hang on in there. Take a breather in another room. Once life returns to its new normality, you will likely find so too will your relationship.
2. Relationship Truth: If You are Strangers Who Avoid Each Other
Scenario no.2: You both listen out for when the other person is about and wait for them to leave before going about your business. You manage to muster up a couple of forced pleasantries at best before dispersing into opposite ends of the house. You are 2 strangers with only space (and a twist of lemon) in between. With a newfound face mask, you can’t be absolutely certain they are the person you moved in with (joke). Even though you are the only 2 people in your house and you have had zero human contact, you avoid each other. This is dire.
Life before lockdown enabled you to blanket over this stark situation. Work-life and hobbies were distractions. Now there are none and you are faced with reality. See this as a positive. In a sense, the lockdown has probably saved you years of future unhappiness in which you may have carried on pretending and muddling through. If there’s one thing I’ve learnt – life is too short to do this.
3. Relationship Over: You’ve Discovered He / She is Someone You Hate
There is nothing like being stuck with someone 24/7 to uncover some truths. Have you? If you have found out his nasty ‘joke’ comments aren’t just down to a warped view of funny, but actually covering up a real sinister personality and you don’t feel safe, think on. If you are being blatantly lied to and you know there is a hidden agenda at play, run for the hills. Now is the time to be strong and reclaim your life. They have no right to take it. You deserve to be treated with real love. No one should have to live with a liar. No good can come of it. Be strong people, be strong.
4. Relationship in Question: You are Friends
If your relationship has slipped from in love to ‘having a love for,’ this is a cause for deep concern. A situation that’s so hard to deal because neither of you will want to hurt the other person. Had it not been for the lockdown you would have plodded on together. If you have become friends with no attraction anymore, it is time to call it a day. No matter how difficult a pill it is to swallow.
Make sure it is not just a case of losing the spark. Sometimes couples go through a dip. Add extreme stress to the mix, and it is a recipe for rubbish times. If you have tried to do the romantic nights, wine and talks, etc, and there truly is nothing left, you need to face facts. Sit down together and have that chat. At the end of the day, nothing lasts forever, nothing stays the same. In that sense, neither do bad situations. Once you deal with a situation life will begin to improve.
For more relationship articles, read ‘5 Tips for Reigniting your Relationship.’