Emotionally cushioned you say? Ah, that sounds so lovely, supportive even. Wrong. Being cushioned is the term used to describe really crappy treatment by your SO. Basically, it describes being in a relationship and your OH is pursuing other love interests, keeping their options open. Yup, definitely not the loving the imagery this word evokes and certainly NOT something to ever tolerate. Read on to discover 4 signs you are being cushioned and how to deal.
1. Passive-Aggressive Signs
Suddenly, your OH is acting out of character. Instead of being considerate and receptive, he is acting cold and making passive-aggressive comments. This is a sure sign that things aren’t peachy. Now, this could be down to a number of issues. You need to eliminate the other options and look for additional signals he is dipping his toe back into the pond.
2.Red Flag: He Goes off to Flirt With Someone When You Are Both Out
Perhaps you are out together – let’s say at the supermarket – and he wanders off. You find him half an hour later being very flirty with another woman (and doesn’t even notice he’s been spotted). You approach, they grin and disperse. Then, when you ask who the person is, your SO becomes aggressive and causes a row. That alarm bell should be causing some temporary deafness right now. Unprovoked anger is a sign of guilt. The best form of defence is attack! Should this behaviour become a regular occurrence, you may want to re-evaluate the worth of your relationship.
3. Cushioned Sign if He Never Leaves His Phone Behind
Should he go from acting laidback to taking his phone wherever he goes (even to the toilet), this is a definite sign he is cushioning you. Never wanting his phone to be viewed by you can only mean one thing. If he isn’t doing the dirty, it is on the cards. Sorry, but face up and move on. Stat.
4. Final Sign: Having 2 Facebook Accounts
If you happen upon this discovery, it’s time to start picturing those running shoes and far away hills.
How to Deal With Being Cushioned
Should your relationship be fresh and new there may be some room to manoeuvre. Many people go through this stage at the beginning of a relationship. However, once you are ‘official’ throwing your rod in and seeing what else you can catch is just not okay. Even if they haven’t full-on cheated, it is still being insincere, and you should not put up with it. Call him out on it. You could forgive and give a second chance – but if they are behaving this way, do you really believe the future looks bright. Time to take off the tinted glasses.
For more relationship articles try: “Has the lockdown revealed the true state of your relationship?”