Christmas Gifts For Achieving Ultimate Wellbeing

Being a positive influence on others has never been so important. This Christmas, why not gift your loved one a present that achieves ultimate feelings of wellbeing? Having the ability to help people can only be consistent if we are in a good place, mentally and physically. With this in mind, make sure you are being kind to yourself too. Whether you are gifting others or making sure you don’t forget to give yourself some TLC, these wellness presents will take you a long way to achieving happiness for your body and mind.

1.Wellbeing App: Try Headspace on iTunes, Free for Beginners, www.itunes.com

Christmas gifts for ultimate wellbeing
Credit” Headspace/iTunes

So many people dismiss meditation saying they can’t get into it or don’t know how to switch off. This is a major mistake. The research proves that opting in to meditation and mindfulness significantly improves a person’s wellbeing. Should you be one of those people that frequently fob off this life-changing process, now there is no excuse. Headspace is one of a few apps developed specifically for you – teaching you how to meditate and get in the zone and generally become more mindful. This app is well worth the money and time.

2.Wellbeing Book: For Anxiety Sufferers: Try the Speakmans Conquering Anxiety, £8.99 (Kindle), www.amazon.co.uk

Christmas gifts for ultimate wellbeing
Credit: Amazon

Most people in the UK will have heard of the Speakmans’ incredible abilities to help those suffering from phobias and other disorders. The husband and wife duo launched a book brimming with tricks and tips designed to help anxiety sufferers. I read this and was amazed at how much the techniques help – and mind-blowingly quickly too!

3.Aromatherapy Associates Ultimate Wellbeing Bath & Shower Collection, £65, www.spacenk.com

Christmas presents for optimal wellness
Credit: Space NK

Want the ultimate wellbeing? Of course, you do – and it’s right here combined within 10 gorgeous bottles. After being introduced to this gift set a couple of years ago, I am certain no one does aromatherapy oils quite like Aromatherapy Associates. The set features the best essential oils. Each bottle is specifically formulated to conjure up all the happy wellness you can handle. This beautifully packaged box of joy is the go-to Christmas gift to keep him/her smiling.

4.Calming and Uplifting Candles Try: Neom Organics London Scent of Wellbeing Gift Set, £45 (Was £48), www.feelunique.com

Christmas gifts ultimate wellbeing and calm
Credit: Feel Unique

Should your loved one be partial to a candle, take the opportunity to gift them a real wellness treat for Christmas. Behold Neom Organics Wellbeing Gift Set. Featuring 3 gorgeous candles with equally enticing names (Christmas Wish, Luxury and Perfect Peace). These candles are dripping with essential oils to banish stress and infuse sparkles of joy into your life. Prepare for a totally lit Christmas. The advice here is to buy at least 2 (as you won’t want to let this set go).

Achieve complete zen with the help of awesome candles, courtesy of NEOM.

5.Silk Everything and Oh-so-Soft Blanket, Try: Zilmasilk 100% Mulberry Silk Pillowcase, £44.92, www.amazon.co.uk

the best christmas gifts for wellbeing
Credit: Amazon

There’s nothing quite like a bit of luxury and pampering to make you feel special, happy and generally uplifted. And there is nothing like slipping back into silk to help you accomplish this incredible state of being. Grab yourself some silk pillowcases and sheets and also the eye mask and PJs.Basically, go the whole hog. I was sent this pillowcase to review a long time ago and it remains my all-time favourite possession (I suspect this will never change).

However, let’s not forget the importance of a cosy blanket. Winter nights are drawing in so to make sure you have all you need, bag yourself an anti-anxiety weighted blanket and keep it at the bottom of your bed for those colder nights (or times when you need that extra comforting). Heaven situation? I think so!

6.WellWoman Max, £19.85, www.vitabiotics.com

christmas gifts wellness
Credit: Vitabiotics

WellWoman Max provides all the vitamins and minerals you need to keep you in perfect balance. At times of stress and when viruses rage rampantly through our streets with total disregard, make sure you stay on top form. Phew, panic over. Take that pandemic.

7.Soothing Sleep Spray Try: Fat & The Moon Dream Weaver Mist, £9.95 (1oz), www.liveinthelight.co.uk

fat and the moon dream weaver mist
Credit: L A Beauty

Yes, this has been mentioned so many times, and there’s no plan and stopping the plug! Inexpensive and brimming with those perfect ingredients for a totally dreamy slumber, this spray by Fat and The Moon should be a fixture on everyone’s’ shelves. Whether you have a child who struggles to settle down, a teenager who never switches off the phone, or a partner whose stress levels keep them awake – this magical potion truly makes a difference.

How To Effectively Deal With Social Media Trolls

This year we are dealing with a massive pandemic that is eating its way through society. But there is another deadly virus causing just as much damage to peoples’ lives and it is referred to as ‘trolls’. The nasty people infected with the trolling parasite use social media, online chat and discussion forums to destroy a person’s character with lies. They write the ugliest accusations and incite rage in anyone willing to listen.

Generally, not particularly intelligent, they play on peoples’ emotions until they believe they have effectively grown seeds of hate – enough to cause optimal damage. Sometimes, the person they are pursuing ends up committing suicide or self-destructing slowly over time. The pain filters to the victim’s family who are also affected.

Other times, enraged people who recognise the bullied individual decide to target them and inflict physical attacks. Typical examples of this would be strangers abusing me ‘because she’s that person on Facebook,’ while waiting to see if I look in a direction of a person – any person – so they can accuse me of being some sex attacker or pyscho! Then there are trolls making a teenager’s school life hell or attacks on those with mental health conditions. Often bred from confusion, it then escalates rage on social media  There’s never a good reason for these vile things to do what they do, and they need to be weeded out. The sooner the better. If (like me) you are a victim of trolling, read on to see how to effectively handle them.

1.Pretend They Don’t Exist

How to effectively deal with social media trolls
Credit: Pixabay

At the end of the day, you know who you are. You know you are a good person and they are the ones that need assessing. This doesn’t take away the mental anguish it causes. One of the best ways to deal, simply is to ignore them. Often, they will grow tired and move on to find something else to hate. Be strong.

2. Detective Work

How to effectively deal with social media trolls
Credit: Pixabay

Try and do some digging. Find out who they are, who their family is and if they know what they are up to. Make logs, take screenshots and gather as much data as possible.

3. Go to the Police

How to effectively deal with social media trolls
Credit: Pixabay

When you have enough evidence go the police and make a formal complaint.

4. Contact Social Media Channels

How to handle social media trolls
Credit: Pixabay

Advise social media channels who these people are and what nasty shit they are up to. Name them and shame them and let them see just what it feels like to be put in the spotlight. The only difference is they are guilty as hell and actually deserve to be judged.

If you are on the receiving end of these stains on humanity, try not to let it affect you. If you can, try not to read any of it. Get a family member to help you. Remember these are sad, sad individuals, full of inner anger they cannot deal with. That is why they don’t care about the truth, they only care about inflicting pain. Take solace in the knowledge their actions will take them to the depths of hell.

The Best Candles To Waft Away Negativity

I think everyone can agree 2020 pretty much sucks. With this in mind, we need a candle that means business. We need one that contains no nasty ingredients and can harness the powers of positivity through its exceptional therapeutic components. Basically, we want something that can clear out all the negativity this year has brought and now replace our space with a scent of refreshingly happy loveliness. Here are the best:

1.Cleanse Away Negativity With Sage. Try: Woodwick Sage & Myrrh Hearthwick Jar Candle, £21.99 (16oz), www.candlesdirect.com

The best candles to waft away negativity
Credit: Candles Direct

Don’t scoff, but sage has been used for centuries to cleanse negativity and evil, whilst drawing in protection – and it is still being used today. Surely, then it is worth checking out. Sage doesn’t have an elegant flowery scent – but that’s okay, it has a job to do. Also combined are the beautiful and calming aromas of bergamot, lavender, myrrh and sandalwood. Together the notes complement each other and encompass your room in a newly decorated picture of peace and tranquillity. Perfect. Also, the burn time is up to 80 hours. Yes!

2.Pure Thoughts Gratitude Aromatherapy Candle, £16 (100g), www.purethoughts.co.uk

the best candles to waft away negativity
Credit: Pure Thoughts

It is important that in order to feel positive, you must first be thankful for the good things in your life. This natural soy candle is the perfect way to help you channel gratitude and become more positive.

Combined in this vegan aromatherapy candle is pure lemongrass, which is well-known for its ability to uplift any mood. Burn time is 18 – 20 hours (going on the week I’ve had I’m going to need to buy at least a dozen more, just to be on the safe side). Whether you wish to meditate or simply banish negativity and boost your mood, you are guaranteed to LOVE this candle.

3.ESPA Positivity Candle, £35 (200g) www.espaskincare.com

the best aromatherapy candles to banish negativity
Credit: ESPA Skincare

Who’s up for a bit of soul upliftment? At a guess, that’s pretty much of all of us. Behold ESPA’s Positivity Candle. That’s right, ESPA not only do amazing skincare, but their candles are just as outstanding. Breathe in a unique blend of jasmine, gardenia and rose geranium to boost your confidence and mood. Next, allow the aroma of sweet orange and bergamot maintain your focus and happy thoughts. This truly is a beautiful candle that keeps negativity at the door. 100& natural wax blend, suitable for vegetarians and smells divine!

The Shortlist For The Best Blurring Primers of 2020 are…

Let’s take a moment to forget about the hideousness that is 2020. Instead, rejoice over some beautiful products that make life (and our faces) brighter. A good primer can transform your look. However, choosing the right one amongst the vast amounts available can feel as likely as winning the lottery. Don’t panic, here comes the beauty cavalry. Should your skin concern be fine lines, pores and uneven skin tone, this is your lucky day. Here are the best blurring primers of 2020 – and they are worth every last penny.

1.For Lines: Amazing Cosmetics Line Smoother + Primer, £32.34, www.amazon.co.uk

the shortlist for the best blurring primers
Credit: Amazon

Check out this product of sheer awesomeness and see just how much effort has gone into ensuring its total perfection. Designed with teeny weeny metal roller balls for optimal delivery of those super-important skincare ingredients, you KNOW this brand is the biz!  It also provides award-winning Neodermyl technology, ensuring incredible results. Combining those all-important botanicals, ceramides and peptides to treat pesky age-related concerns, the product leaves no stone unturned.

This is treatment and coverage all in one easy step. If (like me) you find your foundation uses your lines as a comfy sofa, this primer will have you breathing a HUGE sigh of relief (instead of one of woe). Just make sure you wait for a few minutes before applying your makeup, or it won’t work.

2. Charlotte Tilbury WONDERGLOW Face Primer, £39, www.charlottetilbury.com

shortlist for best blurring primers of 2020
Credit: Charlotte Tilbury

Charlotte Tilbury’s WONDERGLOW truly is a force to be reckoned with. The formula includes a powerhouse of superior ingredients, designed to create a perfectly flawless canvas for your makeup. Discover their florescent Core Light Diffuser and soft focuses which blur and diminish the appearance of imperfections. Also combined within this luxurious primer are outstanding skincare ingredients. Components such as bionymph peptide, wild pansy extract and HA further tackle lines and wrinkles and aid in rejuvenation. Better yet, WONDERGLOW contains my fave component – rosehip oil – which transforms the look of any complexion into one of utter radiance.

3.Urban Decay Complexion Optical Illusion Primer, £24 (28ml), www.lookfantastic.com

shortlist for best blurring primers 2020
Credit: Look Fantastic

This all-singing, all-dancing vegan primer is the stuff of dreams – the best dreams, ever. It feels like you are applying sheer luxury to your face! Should you have fine lines, imperfections and pores you would rather not see, this fabulous primer is your bag. Expect delivery of high-class ingredients and next-level technology. They team up to achieve optimal moisturising, nourishing and protective qualities, before moving on to blur out of all those pesky age-induced concerns. Woo-hoo! This amazing formula is suitable for all skin types and also contains argan, rosehip and meadowfoam oils. Suddenly the sun is shining again.

Tackle Winter Skin With Expert-Approved Moisturisers (That Won’t Break The Bank)

It’s back again for another go at our skin. No, I’m not talking Corona or acne – I’m referring to the dreaded winter months. We need a hell of a good moisturiser (expert-approved, no less) to tackle these arctic conditions. One that can take down a plethora of skin issues that winter brings. And really guys, anything that takes away stress right now, has to be good.

The good news is that we know exactly what form of attack our beautiful complexions can expect, given it’s the same every year. Read on to discover the best winter-tackling moisturisers that beauty experts love.

Tackle Winter With:

Harsh winter weather crossed with over-the-top heating equals a potential skincare crisis. Nip it in the bud before your face starts to resemble last week’s newspaper. Look out for hydrating ingredients (hyaluronic acid), ceramides, peptides and Q10. These proven components all have earned their place in the spotlight. Should your skin be more like last year’s newspaper (like mine of late), look for an emollient to help. The following products are nothing less than awesome:

1. CeraVe Moisturising Cream, £4 (50ml), www.lookfantastic.com

tackle winter with the best expert-approved moisturisers that wont break the bank
Credit: Look Fantastic

CeraVe’s Moisturising Cream just goes to show that you do NOT need to spend a fortune to get those amazing skincare results. Aimed at those with particularly dry skin (or for use in winter), this cream is loaded with all the right ingredients to tackle pesky dryness and all the unwanted skin issues November throws at us. Combining 3 essential ceramides and hyaluronic acid, this outstanding formula also brings MVE® Delivery Technology to the table. Basically, this means your face and body get a controlled release of ingredients throughout the day; thus, ensuring your skin stays nourished and hydrated. CeraVe is my go-to winter moisturiser. It’s non-greasy, absorbs quickly into the skin and keeps my complexion super happy all day long.

2. DHC Resveratrol Cream, £7.99, www.amazon.in

tackle winter skin with expert-approved moisturisers
Credit: L A Beauty

You have probably heard of the antioxidant resveratrol, due to the fact that your red wine is loaded with the potent wonder ingredient. This component’s powers appear limitless. It has the ability to fight a multitude of illnesses and for the past few years, the beauty industry has recognised its anti-aging capabilities too. The antioxidant is like the superhero of anti-aging. Japanese brand DHC launched this cream back in 2014 and it has become a real buzz word ever since. The formula feels luxurious, strengthens the skin’s barrier and provides impeccable protective qualities. Love this!

3. Olay Regenerist Micro-Sculpting Cream Face Moisturiser, £24.97 (1.7oz), www.iherb.com

Tackle winter skin with expert-approved moisturisers
Credit: Iherb

Sometimes you don’t have to go searching far and wide for new luxury creams that promise the secrets of never-ending youth. Sometimes, the tried and tested brands have everything you need. Whether you are tackling aging or preparing for the colder times ahead, Olay’s Regenerist’s Micro-Sculpting Cream has the exact amount of essential ingredients to maintain beautifully radiant skin throughout winter. Including key proven components such as amino-peptide Complex 11 that work in unison with B vitamins, the outcome is amazing. Fine lines appear reduced, the skin is firmer, hydrated, nourished and plump. Start using it now and on Christmas morning you will have another reason for the huge smile on your face. A little tip – Iherb has this priced at £10 cheaper than anywhere else!

Should you have particularly dry skin make sure you are using a good serum and then apply a thicker emollient to act as your skin’s extra shield. Never forget to cleanse (oil-based ones like DHC’s Oil-Based Cleanser). Never, ever forget your SPF – oh, and don’t sit too close to the space heater!

Is Someone You Know Suicidal? Here’s How To Deal

A few weeks ago, someone in my circle committed suicide. I saw him an hour before he took his own life and I had absolutely no idea he was suffering. The most I thought was that (like us all) he had a few life problems to sort out.

Suicide is now one of the leading causes of death and the rates of male suicide in England continues to climb. 2020 has tested many of us to the limit and you don’t need to look far to find someone feeling a bit blue. But how do you know when someone is down or if it is something more? Should you notice a friend or family member acting out of character, there are a few things you can do. Read on:

1. Assess the Situation

Is someone you know suicidal? here's how to deal
Credit: Pixabay

Firstly, it is important to assess the seriousness of the situation to determine whether or not you may need to access immediate intervention. Suicidal comments and evidence of self-harm are clear red flags you need to get outside help.

2. Talk and Listen

Credit: Giphy

If your friend/loved one has appeared down or struggling, it is hard to know whether they are in need of help. They may insist everything is fine and be dismissive; thus, it’s truly difficult to get that person to open up. Be prepared to meet a brick wall when attempting to help. Talk to that person. Ask if there is anything troubling them and let them talk. Listen, rinse and repeat. This should not be a one-off convo – you need to keep checking in with them. Even if you can’t offer solutions, just being a friend has unmeasurable value.

3. Be There

Credit: Giphy

As previously mentioned, being there for someone can sometimes mean the difference between things being bearable and too much to deal with. They may not want to go out. That’s okay – take some movies and chocolates around, order a Chinese. Just be there as often as possible.

4. Understand There May Be no Outward Signs

Over a quarter of suicidal people show no outward signs of depression, particularly once they have made up their minds to carry it out. If someone has been down for a long time and suddenly, they just seem ‘okay’ without any positive changes in their circumstances, this is the time to keep a close eye on things. However, know that no one can be there 24/7 and if someone has made up their mind and then committed suicide, please do not blame yourself.

5. Seek Help

Credit: Giphy

Should you believe your friend/loved one is at risk of suicide, do not hesitate in seeking professional help. Remember, it is extremely difficult to know whether a person is planning on committing suicide. If a person is hell-bent on doing this, then spotting it and being able to prevent it is almost impossible. This is why it’s vital to keep in mind the above-mentioned points.

Here are some useful helpline telephone numbers. Calling can really make a difference:

Samaritans: 116 123 (24h)

www.sossilenceofsuicide.org – Online, live chat and phone.

www.suicidepreventionapp.com

6 Of The Best Gadgets To Banish Anxiety

2020 has brought pretty much everyone the gift of anxiety and stress (thanks 2020, I can’t wait to see what I get for my birthday). The good news is there are literally tonnes of innovative and fun gadgets for banishing symptoms of anxiety and stress. I must stress that anxiety has varying levels and an anxiety disorder cannot be miraculously cured with a gadget alone. However, we can do a lot to help ourselves, and this includes using aids to ease the burden. Some are a waste of wonga, but there are also some really effective and fun gadgets that are well worth the buy. This year, why not buy someone a Christmas present they will actually enjoy for longer than the holiday period? Here are 5 of the best anti-anxiety/stress tools around:

1.Brentford’s Weighted Blanket, £26.73 (4kg), www.amazon.co.uk

6 of the best gadgets to banish anxiety
Credit: Amazon

Designed specifically to induce an incredibly comforting sleep, by way of deep touch pressure therapy, this weighted blanket is in a league of its own. The blanket is proven to increase serotonin and melatonin, which in turn decreases the stress hormone. The result is that anxiety and stress are soothed away and replaced with a happy and peaceful sleep. I love my weighted blanket – its benefits really are unmeasurable.

2.Clear Fear Anti-Anxiety App, App Store

6 of the best gadgets to reduce anxiety
Credit: App Store

Should you or a loved one suffer from anxiety, this award-winning app is a tool that really helps. Developed by a clinical psychologist, the app uses CBT to support the reduction of physical responses to triggers and also alter a person’s behaviour and thoughts. Do give this a try.

3. Yomogo Fluffy Cloud Slime, £6.65 (120ml), www.amazon.co.uk

6 of the best gadgets to banish anxiety
Credit: Amazon

Okay., before you write this off as something you are far too adult to enjoy, hear me out. One day, whilst joining in with my son to create slime monsters, I stumbled across the huge anti-stress benefits that this product can offer. Seriously, it literally removes your stress in moments – and it’s fun too. I did some research and discovered it is actually a toy that is proven to combat anxiety and stress. Cheap, cheerful and it works!

4. Fat & The Moon Dream Weaver Mist, £9.95 (1 oz), www.liveinthelight.co.uk

fat and the moon dream weaver mist
Credit: thefuturekept.com

I was given this sleep spray to review a couple of years ago and have been buying the product ever since. It is THAT good. Should you want a good night’s sleep (duh!) and love a good dream, this is the kitty for you. Included in this somewhat magical formula are some pretty spectacular ingredients. You will discover components such as mugwort (sourced from wild mugwort), lavender, Californian poppy and sage. Mugwort has been used for centuries to ward off evil spirits, cleanse your surroundings and promote vivid dreaming. This sleep spray is great for every family member, helping to ensure a totally relaxing undisturbed slumber. Love, love, love!

5. Electric Scalp Head Massager, £34.99, www.amazon.co.uk

6 of the best tools to banish anxiety
Credit: Amazon

This multi-tasking head massager is a gadget for all stressed-out people. Including 4 massaging heads, the super-cool device provides an awesome head massage, boosts circulation, removes stress and stimulates hair growth. A perfect on-the-go gadget for feelings of greatness.

6.Beats Solo 3 Wireless Bluetooth Noise Cancelling headphones, £129, www.currys.co.uk

great gadgets to diminish stress
Credit: Currys

This has to be my favourite of all the gadgets. Put them on and you are instantly immersed into another world all of your own. With 40 hours of play time, you can control your music experience and take calls – if you feel like it – which you probably won’t.

Anxiety Attack Or Panic Attack: What Is The Difference?

The pandemic has a lot to answer. Mental health problems such as anxiety and panic attacks are sadly now commonplace. It is estimated that 1 in 6 people are experiencing a mental health condition any day of the week in England. The UK was experiencing a massive mental health crisis before Covid-19 and now it is surging to unprecedented levels. We all need to be more aware and able to help one another. By recognising whether a person is experiencing anxiety or a panic attack, you will be in a position to offer priceless assistance to a family member, friend or even a stranger. Read on:

What Is An Anxiety Attack?

Credit: Giphy/Free Gifs

An anxiety attack is a response to a stressful situation or trigger. Imagine walking alone late at night, or around someone you know does not like you. The signs include a racing heart rate, rapid breathing, sweaty and worried or scared. Anxiety attacks do not usually last as long as a panic attack and normally disappear as soon as the trigger is removed.

What Is a Panic Attack?

anxiety attack or panic attack: what is the difference?
Credit: Pixabay

Panic attacks are in general, more severe. Mimicking signs of heart problems, the sufferer will experience rapid heart rate, extreme feelings of paralysis, chest pain and nausea. As you can imagine, this can be terrifying. Unlike anxiety attacks, they can come on out of the blue without any warning whatsoever.  On the upside, panic attacks are treatable. Read my article, ‘5 Techniques for Tackling a Panic Attack‘.to discover some tips on how to overcome the issue with minimal distress.

Remember you are not alone. Anxiety and panic attacks are more common than you might realise. They are also treatable. Do not suffer in silence from something that can be overcome. Speak to a friend or pick up the phone and call one of the helpline numbers below.

Mind: 0300 123 3933

5 Techniques For Tackling A Panic Attack

Thanks to the pandemic, cases of anxiety and subsequent panic attacks are on the rise. Never has there been more need to help people tackle mental health conditions such as depression and panic attacks. According to the charity Mind, it is estimated that 1 in 6 people report experiencing a mental health problem in any given week, in England alone. Essential support for mental health conditions is scarce. A lack of funding, resources and understanding in general causes situations whereby a sufferer is taken to A & E only to be discharged as there is no bed or support available.

Panic attacks can be debilitating and often scary. However, there are certain things a person experiencing such problems can do to help curb the extremity of the situation and regain control. Read on to discover the best tips for dealing with a panic attack:

What Are the Signs of a Panic Attack?

5 techniques for dealing with a panic attack
Credit: Pixabay

Chest Pain

Rapid heart rate

Sweating

Unable to Catch Breath

A panic attack will come on suddenly without any warning. For sufferers, a panic attack can be terrifying, as the symptoms are very similar to a heart attack (and are frequently mistaken for this).

Techniques for Tackling a Panic Attack

Credit: Giphy

1. Identify

The key to overcoming a panic attack is to quickly identify it and remind yourself it will pass. Although scary, it is not dangerous, and you will be okay.

2. Breathing Technique

Credit: Giphy/Free Gifs

Try breathing slowly in through your nose and out of your mouth. Take long, deep and slow breaths – as many as you need. If you have a paper bag, try breathing into this.

3. Close Your Eyes

If you are able to do so, close your eyes and try to picture a safe place in your mind. This could be anywhere that comforts you. For me, it is my nan’s garden where I played growing up.

4. Play Music

Credit: Giphy/Free Gifs

Make sure you have ‘panic attack music’ downloaded onto your phone. Better yet, some meditation music for panic attacks (there are tonnes of great ones on YouTube). When you feel able, put your earphones in and play this whilst continuing to do your breathing techniques.

5.Call Your Friend

Credit: Giphy

If you are alone and worried, call your friend for help. They can listen and reassure you until the situation passes.

Should you feel overwhelmed or are struggling it is imperative you seek help. The following telephone numbers for mental health helplines are hugely beneficial for many. They are available around the clock.

Mind: 0300 123 3393 Email:info@mind.org.uk

Sane: 0300 304 7000. Email: support@sane.org.uk

 

Loved And Lost Vs. Never Loved: Which Way Is Better?

Loved and lost or never loved at all: Which way is better?

Having cried like a baby for the fourteenth time, I switch off the movie, ‘P.S. I Love You’. When the mascara-streaming, snot-pouring hideousness that this film bestowed upon me eventually subsides, I reach for the tissues and begin to analyse.

What is making me so sad, apart from the obvious heart-wrenching plot (of which seems to have become my latest, favourite type of self-sabotage)? I’m reminiscing over past all-encompassing love I once held dearly and then lost. People change, time marches on, life can be cruel.  But the scattered ashes of emotion in the grounds of my soul remain solid, as if untouched by time. Somehow unaffected, it is embalmed within this infinite universe. Nothing can ever change this, whilst I am forever changed.

loved and lost or never loved: which way is better?
Credit: Pixabay.com

Memories of other relationships begin to seep in. The ones that didn’t go so well. You know the ones I’m talking about. Words of love were present, but the jigsaw would forever be incomplete. The one who never really loved – not in the way a person should. Niggles and worries are planted before the first morning together. Eventually, those doubts grow into shadows that darken all else. Possibilities of anything other than weeds growing become as likely as meeting Chris Hemsworth in Tesco. It’s never personal (on so many levels). This is the person who never allows love.

So, I ponder over which way of living is better. It’s tempting to sway towards never encountering a loss that cuts deep and never heals (for obvious reasons). But then, what are we all here for, if not to experience love, to be open and let someone in? Would we miss out on the whole purpose of existence?

loved and lost or never loved: which is better?
Credit: Pixabay

Nothing lasts forever; thus, the odds of losing that relationship and love are as likely as getting a hole in your favourite socks. However, if you are lucky enough to find someone that can hold out their hand and cling to your heart, with an imprint that remains until the day you die, you have pretty much achieved life’s goal. Painful as it is to lose, just having that, knowing its truth should be the incredible take-away from it all. Life without such amazing beauty is simply no life whatsoever.

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