One of life’s greatest gifts is falling head-over-heels in love. Who would have thought that within something so ethereal there lies the darkest, deepest pain of a breakup? It’s true, love hurts – and for many, the first romance hurts the most. So, what do you do when your now grown-up child who suffers from anxiety is experiencing this pain? He/she is now alone in their flat and doesn’t want to leave ‘just in case’ the ex, returns. How do you as a parent ease their sadness and worry? After all, the greatest healer is time. We may move mountains for our children, but we cannot speed up a moment for all the world’s gold. Read on to discover some ways you can help without putting your foot in it.
1.Be There for Your Child
This is probably the most important thing you can do. Should your child not want to move back home, let him/her know you have their room ready (in case). Regularly call throughout the day and night to make sure their anxiety is not out of control. Just being there to listen can be a huge help in dealing with anxiety and a breakup.
2. Do Their Shopping
Anxiety levels will be at a peak right now, so any little social task will feel like a burden during the first day’s post-breakup. Help where you can. Pick up some shopping, make their tea, help with the washing. These little things will mean a lot.
3.Make Sure They Are Eating
By making tea and doing their shopping, you can also keep an eye on your child’s food intake. Steer them away from alcohol as this exacerbates anxiety. Instead, buy some chamomile tea (packed with calming, soothing properties).
4.Make Their Room Cosy
Try to keep yourself busy to ease your stress levels. Preparing your child’s room in case they return is a great distraction. Make it cosy with lots of blankets, pillows and candles. For added calming hacks, buy some sleep spray and aromatherapy oils.
5. No Pressure
If your child suffers from anxiety, the worst thing you can do is pile on the pressure. You may hate them being on their own, but getting on their case is only going to increase stress and worry. What is more, you don’t want to push them away by being too controlling. Try to be laid back as much as possible. Wait until you are alone, then scream it out.
6. Keep Opinions Inside
You may want to hire a hitman to take out the ex. His actions may have been disgusting beyond belief. But think hard before you speak out. They may be loved-up again in a week’s time and your child will begin to resent you. Keep your thoughts, thoughts.
7. Assess/Contact Support if Needed
Keep a close eye on your child. Should they behave in a concerning way, you must assess any safety risk. Making a decision to seek professional help is better than dealing with a potential tragedy.
Even if there is no immediate danger, consider getting your child a few counselling or therapy sessions to equip them with effective coping strategies to deal. A great one to access is the NHS Talking Therapy Service.
Doing these things will be hugely beneficial and help to pull life back into balance.
For more reading inspo, “.6 Of The Best gadgets To Banish Anxiety.“