Yesterday, for the first time in our 9-year relationship my partner bought me a gift – a beautiful silver bracelet. Now, although I would like to say what a sweet thoughtful gesture this was, my more cynical side is screaming in my ear that given the fact that I have never been given presents, this gesture comes with a side order of guilt. Which leads me to the question: Should we accept a guilt gift?
Firstly, you need to be sure this is a guilt gift. Love the facts. Is it out of the ordinary to receive a present? Has the bearer of the gift acted out of character lately? If it’s your partner and he/she is usually a narcissistic pain-in-the-ass, who never buys you gifts, then it’s more likely to be due to buttering you up or fear they have been caught out. Do a little digging, talk to the person involved about how they are feeling – listen to what they say, and your gut instincts should tell you if this is a guilt gift or rather fear of detection.
Accepting a guilt gift wholly depends on the reasons you are being given the present in the first place. For instance, if a family member has spoken out of turn and wants to make amends, this should perhaps be recognised as a genuine olive branch and thus be accepted. However, discovering the reason may sometimes take a while longer. People often offer gifts as a way to compensate for behaviour, of which they are unwilling to disclose.
3.Truth or Lies?
Accepting a gift that has been offered in an attempt to blanket over a trail of deception is probably not going to solve anything. My solution is to talk to the person involved. Even if they choose to lie to your face, you will be able to pick that up and find another way to move on. In this instance accepting any guilt gift would be a bad idea (unless of course it happens to be a pair of Prada boots or a big fat diamond necklace). On the other hand, a sincere guilt-fuelled present with genuine remorse, honesty and attempts at reconciliation should perhaps be praised and graciously accepted.
Have you ever been given a gift out of guilt? Did you accept it and what were your thoughts? Leave me your comments below and happy Friday people xx