‘Gaslighting’ is the term used to describe when a person attempts to dismiss another’s concerns. This is done by trying to convince them, that they are either crazy or their perception is imaginary; thus, achieving enough self-doubt in their beliefs to stamp out the issue.
There are many reasons your partner may be trying to gaslight you – but they all come down to the same basic fact – they want to avoid detection. Check out the following gaslighting examples and how to effectively deal with them:
The #1 reason for gaslighting. Have you ever been in a situation when things do not seem right, and explanations of certain behaviours or missing times do not fit? You don’t have solid evidence, but you know in your gut something is definitely up. When you approach your partner to voice your concerns, you are told you are crazy, and imagining everything. However, the niggling doubts do not leave.
We do not get these gut instincts without a reason. Granted, certain mental health disorders can cause a person to be unjustly paranoid and equally cause another person to behave in a way that may cause unfounded alarm bells to ring for another. However, if this is not the situation – then it’s time to listen to your instincts. Asking them clearly won’t achieve anything, so put your Sherlock hat on and do a little detective work to get the answers you deserve. Do not be gaslighted!
Money is definitely the root of all evil. People go crazy for it, behave in the worst manner ever to attain it or prevent other people having it– and a lack of it can create a host of arguments that really should never happen. If you feel you are being duped and when you enquire you receive a gaslighting response, think on. Always protect yourself. The best thing about this gaslighting is that it is very transparent. Although hurtful, once realised you can learn a lot about someone’s personality and how they should truly rate in your life. Take note and move on accordingly.
With the age of social media gossip has reached unprecedented levels. When it is about you (and worse still, when it is not true) it is the worst feeling in the world. Yet, even though we are aware of this, the market for general gossip is ever-growing. Go figure.
If you hear rumours are circulating about you, but have no clear evidence, try to be strong. Fake news or gossip grows like cancer in people’s brains and can destroy peoples’ lives. If you ask and you know you are being gaslighted, I would offer this advice: Do not search online for it will send you insane – and if you find something, it will eat away forever more. Instead raise your head high, live your best life and ignore anyone who tries to throw shade your way. You are amazing and these people are not worth a tear.
The problem is that with social media it isn’t hard to take someone down. Once you are discredited any protest you make is laughed off, and you are simply adding to their list of reasons for calling you crazy or a liar. Understand that the angrier you become, the more the gaslighting individual can grin and say, “See what she’s like?” The only thing to do is develop a thick skin and carry on (but with your wits about you).
Have you any gaslighting stories you can share? Share your thoughts below. Be strong people xx