Ever get that gut feeling you are being lied to by your partner? I’m not talking about little fibs – I mean explosive ‘change everything forever’ types of whoppers. The gut instinct develops within us from birth. Darwin’s fight or flight theory to help us stave off would-be predators. Granted, it is not always right. However, if you are in a relationship and you get the overwhelming feeling things aren’t right, they usually aren’t. Here are 5 red flags to look out for:
Suddenly you are being insulted and shouted at for no reason whatsoever that you can imagine. As far as you remember, you didn’t torch his car or bury his favourite Xbox game. So, what’s the deal If he is being aggressive out of the blue? Generally, this is a sign he is feeling guilty about something and this is how is dealing with it. By keeping you at arm’s length and treating you this way there can be no intimate conversations and his behaviour can carry on with minimal thought.
Unless you have been a total cow to him, or he has not been in your Corona bubble, the explanation may be that he is keeping things from you. He may be a bit blue or overburdened. However, if you add unusual distance to the other signs, it can be a red flag that he really doesn’t want to share. Thus, you are not getting the full story. He may want to end the relationship, or he may be hiding bad behaviour – either way, it shouldn’t be ignored.
3. Obvious Little Lies That Make No Sense
If you are having a convo and he drops himself in it, with little lies for things that seem to have no point – it is often due to them being a cover-up for something far deeper. On the other hand, you could just be living with a compulsive liar – but then you would probably know that by now.
He is telling you his aggression is down to you – but you honestly cannot think of anything you have done that is different. If you keep being blamed, he is simply turning the tables back on you to avoid being under the spotlight. This is a sign he is not man enough to own whatever it is and definitely a sign there is zero respect. Move on.
This ties in with the other signs. You are completely dumbfounded at what could possibly be going on to warrant this alter ego, split personality attitude. It is total confusion and yet, still his bad behaviour continues. Put this red flag with the others and you have yourself a big problem. The solution? If you want it to work (really if he acts like this, why would you?) then give him the chance to spill. If he carries on, take it as your ticket to leave. There really is no future with a person who is willing to behave so badly. You deserve more!