Is Someone You Know Suicidal? Here’s How To Deal

A few weeks ago, someone in my circle committed suicide. I saw him an hour before he took his own life and I had absolutely no idea he was suffering. The most I thought was that (like us all) he had a few life problems to sort out.

Suicide is now one of the leading causes of death and the rates of male suicide in England continues to climb. 2020 has tested many of us to the limit and you don’t need to look far to find someone feeling a bit blue. But how do you know when someone is down or if it is something more? Should you notice a friend or family member acting out of character, there are a few things you can do. Read on:

1. Assess the Situation

Is someone you know suicidal? here's how to deal
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Firstly, it is important to assess the seriousness of the situation to determine whether or not you may need to access immediate intervention. Suicidal comments and evidence of self-harm are clear red flags you need to get outside help.

2. Talk and Listen

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If your friend/loved one has appeared down or struggling, it is hard to know whether they are in need of help. They may insist everything is fine and be dismissive; thus, it’s truly difficult to get that person to open up. Be prepared to meet a brick wall when attempting to help. Talk to that person. Ask if there is anything troubling them and let them talk. Listen, rinse and repeat. This should not be a one-off convo – you need to keep checking in with them. Even if you can’t offer solutions, just being a friend has unmeasurable value.

3. Be There

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As previously mentioned, being there for someone can sometimes mean the difference between things being bearable and too much to deal with. They may not want to go out. That’s okay – take some movies and chocolates around, order a Chinese. Just be there as often as possible.

4. Understand There May Be no Outward Signs

Over a quarter of suicidal people show no outward signs of depression, particularly once they have made up their minds to carry it out. If someone has been down for a long time and suddenly, they just seem ‘okay’ without any positive changes in their circumstances, this is the time to keep a close eye on things. However, know that no one can be there 24/7 and if someone has made up their mind and then committed suicide, please do not blame yourself.

5. Seek Help

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Should you believe your friend/loved one is at risk of suicide, do not hesitate in seeking professional help. Remember, it is extremely difficult to know whether a person is planning on committing suicide. If a person is hell-bent on doing this, then spotting it and being able to prevent it is almost impossible. This is why it’s vital to keep in mind the above-mentioned points.

Here are some useful helpline telephone numbers. Calling can really make a difference:

Samaritans: 116 123 (24h)

www.sossilenceofsuicide.org – Online, live chat and phone.

www.suicidepreventionapp.com

Anxiety Attack Or Panic Attack: What Is The Difference?

The pandemic has a lot to answer. Mental health problems such as anxiety and panic attacks are sadly now commonplace. It is estimated that 1 in 6 people are experiencing a mental health condition any day of the week in England. The UK was experiencing a massive mental health crisis before Covid-19 and now it is surging to unprecedented levels. We all need to be more aware and able to help one another. By recognising whether a person is experiencing anxiety or a panic attack, you will be in a position to offer priceless assistance to a family member, friend or even a stranger. Read on:

What Is An Anxiety Attack?

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An anxiety attack is a response to a stressful situation or trigger. Imagine walking alone late at night, or around someone you know does not like you. The signs include a racing heart rate, rapid breathing, sweaty and worried or scared. Anxiety attacks do not usually last as long as a panic attack and normally disappear as soon as the trigger is removed.

What Is a Panic Attack?

anxiety attack or panic attack: what is the difference?
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Panic attacks are in general, more severe. Mimicking signs of heart problems, the sufferer will experience rapid heart rate, extreme feelings of paralysis, chest pain and nausea. As you can imagine, this can be terrifying. Unlike anxiety attacks, they can come on out of the blue without any warning whatsoever.  On the upside, panic attacks are treatable. Read my article, ‘5 Techniques for Tackling a Panic Attack‘.to discover some tips on how to overcome the issue with minimal distress.

Remember you are not alone. Anxiety and panic attacks are more common than you might realise. They are also treatable. Do not suffer in silence from something that can be overcome. Speak to a friend or pick up the phone and call one of the helpline numbers below.

Mind: 0300 123 3933

6 Signs Of Controlling Behaviour That Slip Under The Radar

Hey, Lovelies!

Most people know the main signs of controlling behaviour such as aggression and isolating their partner. These often are the first and most obvious behaviours that are noticed. However, a true manipulator is in it for the long haul. This means that other equally destructive red flags can be operated in the background and over time, without obvious detection. Belittlement, mind games and questioning often are passed off as the consequence of a row – but the impact of consistently being on the receiving end is devastating. Read on to discover 6 signs of controlling behaviours that slip under the radar.

1. Control by Belittlement

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“Why don’t’ you get your hair and nails done for once?”

“You’ve been a disaster your whole life.”

“Why don’t you stop trying to do a job that’s impossible to achieve and get a normal job like everyone else?”

“You’re so soft on him, you are bringing him up to be a right…”

“Why are you eating that? Don’t buy it again.”

An occasional remark out of frustration is understandable, but constant little digs will eventually create a black hole in your soul. Keep an eye on this. Know that it is not your fault. He would be saying the same thing to any girlfriend. It is not personal, just his issues. However, do not accept this under any circumstances or it will change you.

2. Constant Questions Slip Under the Radar

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Let’s get this straight: if you say you are nipping to the shop and come home 6 hours later (unless you live in the Outer Hebrides) you should expect a question or two. However, if it’s more like this:

“It doesn’t take that long to get chips; you’ve been gone 9 minutes. Where else have you been?”

It means (quite clearly) you have a problem.

If it feels like you live with an officer and are constantly interrogated, this is a sign of controlling behaviour. Unless you have recently cheated and your partner is struggling to deal, constant questions are totally wrong.

3.Controlling Finances

6 signs of controlling behaviour that slip under the radar
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This red flag is textbook controlling behaviour. He has bagged a huge slice of control if you have no money and need to ask. Under NO circumstances should you allow this. Get a savings account or give your family a pot, and put in a few pounds each week – until you are ready to get the hell out of there!

4. You’re Crazy

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Incessantly being told you are crazy, insane, totally paranoid will gradually wear you down. You will begin to think it, and your thoughts are what create our reality. Be careful here. Please do not believe a word of it and know how wonderful you are. This is simply their way of manipulating you or hiding their own misdeeds. Try spending 5 minutes each day thinking of some things that make you a lovely person and know this to be your truth.

5. It’s the Little Things

Aggression and control come in many forms. On their own comments about your cleaning, cooking, driving or ironing may not seem too out of hand. But if you are hearing nothing but complaints all the time, you are bound to feel worthless. Again, you must remember it is not actually about you. This is a huge insecurity issue your OH has all by himself. You do not need this in your life.

6.Defamatory Lies About You and To You

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Okay, this is a bad one whereby seed is planted in other peoples’ minds about you. Before you know wat’s happening (and with the help of social media) you are branded whatever they have chosen for you. Be it an abuser, alcoholic, crazy person – whatever. The worse thing is, by this point all the other controlling behaviours will have you acting totally out-of-character. This makes the lies more believable for those who don’t know you. It is often very difficult to get evidence or to source this, due to the time it takes to realise. Be on your guard, because if the other signs are there, this one may be lurking in the shadows too!

Coronavirus: 8 Signs You Have More Than Just A Cold

Hey Lovelies!

With Coronavirus Spreading across the globe with startling agility, it’s time we all sat up and take stock. Read on to discover the 9 signs you have more than just a bad cold. Although the majority of people will recover, some sections of society are helpless. The sooner you identify or eliminate this virus as the cause of your illness, the better.

1.It Lasts Longer Than a Couple of Days.

Most bugs or colds run their course quite quickly. Within 48 hours you should be seeing some improvement. Should you reach day 4 and feel just as wretched, it indicates the illness may be something else. Along with Coronavirus, you should consider known illnesses such as chest infections, flu, strep throat and mono. Seek advice by calling 111.

2.You Have Been Abroad

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The chances of your symptoms signalling red flags are significantly higher if you have recently returned from abroad.

3.Fever

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High temperatures do not persist with a bug. Should you be suffering from a temperature of 100 degrees or higher for longer than 24 hours, seek immediate medical help.

4.Nasty Cough

Should your sore throat develop into a persistent cough, this is a big red flag. It may be a chest infection, or it could be the Coronavirus. Either way it is best to get checked. Do not go in to the Doctors; always ring for assistance.

5.Low-Grade Fever

Even a low-grade fever is a concern if it persists. Keep an eye on how long it is going on and act accordingly.

6.Difficulty Breathing/Wheezing

Coronavirus: 9 signs more than just a cold
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Shortness of breath, chest tightness and wheezing are all indicative of serious reactions to Coronavirus or a chest infection. Seek assistance if this happens.

7.Excessive Thirst

Coronavirus: 9 signs its more than a cold
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When Coronavirus takes hold, it can develop into pneumonia. The onset of this causes a person to feel excessively thirsty. Left untreated, it can cause rapid deterioration, sepsis and organ failure.

8.Aching

Whilst many cases of Coronavirus cause milder symptoms, some do not. We do not know enough about the virus. However, if it has got you by the short and curlies, you will feel like you’ve done 10 rounds with Tyson Fury. Basically, you will know it means business and that you need medical intervention.

I cannot stress enough that while people do not follow the hand washing guidelines, or seek help even if symptoms are mild, the virus will continue to spread like its backside is on fire. Vulnerable people will inevitably catch it and suffer. Let’s all do everything we can to shut down this monster whilst we still can. xx

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