How To Effectively Deal With Social Media Trolls

This year we are dealing with a massive pandemic that is eating its way through society. But there is another deadly virus causing just as much damage to peoples’ lives and it is referred to as ‘trolls’. The nasty people infected with the trolling parasite use social media, online chat and discussion forums to destroy a person’s character with lies. They write the ugliest accusations and incite rage in anyone willing to listen.

Generally, not particularly intelligent, they play on peoples’ emotions until they believe they have effectively grown seeds of hate – enough to cause optimal damage. Sometimes, the person they are pursuing ends up committing suicide or self-destructing slowly over time. The pain filters to the victim’s family who are also affected.

Other times, enraged people who recognise the bullied individual decide to target them and inflict physical attacks. Typical examples of this would be strangers abusing me ‘because she’s that person on Facebook,’ while waiting to see if I look in a direction of a person – any person – so they can accuse me of being some sex attacker or pyscho! Then there are trolls making a teenager’s school life hell or attacks on those with mental health conditions. Often bred from confusion, it then escalates rage on social media  There’s never a good reason for these vile things to do what they do, and they need to be weeded out. The sooner the better. If (like me) you are a victim of trolling, read on to see how to effectively handle them.

1.Pretend They Don’t Exist

How to effectively deal with social media trolls
Credit: Pixabay

At the end of the day, you know who you are. You know you are a good person and they are the ones that need assessing. This doesn’t take away the mental anguish it causes. One of the best ways to deal, simply is to ignore them. Often, they will grow tired and move on to find something else to hate. Be strong.

2. Detective Work

How to effectively deal with social media trolls
Credit: Pixabay

Try and do some digging. Find out who they are, who their family is and if they know what they are up to. Make logs, take screenshots and gather as much data as possible.

3. Go to the Police

How to effectively deal with social media trolls
Credit: Pixabay

When you have enough evidence go the police and make a formal complaint.

4. Contact Social Media Channels

How to handle social media trolls
Credit: Pixabay

Advise social media channels who these people are and what nasty shit they are up to. Name them and shame them and let them see just what it feels like to be put in the spotlight. The only difference is they are guilty as hell and actually deserve to be judged.

If you are on the receiving end of these stains on humanity, try not to let it affect you. If you can, try not to read any of it. Get a family member to help you. Remember these are sad, sad individuals, full of inner anger they cannot deal with. That is why they don’t care about the truth, they only care about inflicting pain. Take solace in the knowledge their actions will take them to the depths of hell.

How To Help A Loved One Who Is Being Emotionally Abused

Hey, Lovelies!

The pain of seeing a loved one in an emotionally abusive relationship and feeling unable to help is incredibly hurtful. You love your daughter/friend/mum/sister. You can see what is happening and the ending, like you are watching the worst movie ever, but you can’t just get up and walk away. Meanwhiles, it’s as if they are blind.

They have an invisible bubble surrounding them and each time you try to help, you are pushed away and regarded as the enemy. Your loved one believes you are there just to burst this precious bubble. All you see is a toxic mess – certainly not something that should be treasured. Something that should be buried, but not because it is special. Because no one should ever have to experience it again.

The problem, as many of you will know only too well, you will not get through. Each attempt results in their turning on you. The manipulator has weaved a perfect web, played the long game and taken over her world. Constantly niggling, chipping away and planting seeds of doubt. Debasing you and them via little whispers every day.

Credit: Giphy.com

It’s a clever (but somewhat sickening) trick – give them a taste of bliss – of what pure love is and plant it. Water it a little and then rip it out the ground. The threat of them leaving leaves your loved one desperate and willing to accept anything they say. Even at the cost of the people who actually love them dearly. Self-esteem keeps dwindling as they question everyone and themselves, feeling so alone. So, what do you do if you are in this situation?

Credit: Giphy

I have been on both ends of the scale. I have suffered at the hands of a physically and psychologically abusive ‘partner’ for more years than I care to remember. One thing I can share is that this behaviour is enabled far longer than the point of realisation. Instead of escaping, time drags as the persecuted feel there is nowhere to turn, believing they deserve all they get. This turns into a self-perpetuating cycle (as so many things in life). Breaking that cycle is so hard, but it isn’t impossible. People hardly ever change. Patience, time and understanding are crucial factors in recovery.

This is an ongoing issue, so it is still a learning curve for me. I fear the worst and hope for the best. Having extensively researched ways to help, I put these practices in place. Sometimes they work a little, other times not so much. But what they do is press pause on anything deteriorating too much. If you don’t feed the anger, if you keep quiet and just listen when needed, there can be no ammunition when they are back in a brief cosy spell before the next episode. Here is my advice:

1. Don’t Speak Your Thoughts

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I know this sounds awful but hear me out. After countless times of seeing a loved one distraught and saying what I think, I concede this does not work. Also suggesting they leave or pointing out the obvious will end up biting you on the bum. Once peace between them is restored his ammunition gets an upgrade: “She wants us to split up because she is jealous.” This doesn’t end well. Only say what you think if asked, and even then, you must be as tactful as possible.

 2. Help by Listening

how to help a loved one in an emotionally abusive relationship
Credit: Wikipedia.org

Listening is undervalued, it really is. Just listening when they are upset will help. They know they can come to you, without judgement.

3. Be There for Your Loved One

Be there for them, plain and simple. It doesn’t matter what time of day or night, let them know they can call you at any point and you will be there. Knowing this will give them a little support and confidence if the situation worsens.

4. Give Them Breathing Space

They will be feeling pressured, stressed and overburdened. The last thing you want to do is give a lecture. Give them space to breathe and reflect.

5. Keep Watch Over the Relationship

how to help a loved one in an emotionally abusive relationship
Credit: Wikipedia.org

Although becoming too involved will just add to the problem, this does not mean you should ignore things. Keep a slightly distant eye on what is going on and ensure there is always communication between you both. That way you are prepared to step in and act/assist as soon as you get the green light (or if you believe the relationship has reached a level that warrants outside intervention).

I will keep adding to this as events progress. When I discover anything that works or similarly anything that doesn’t, I will post. In the meantime, if anyone is going through this or knows someone who is, be strong. Be kind to yourself. Any thoughts, please leave a comment in the messages below. Stay safe. xx

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