4 Signs You Are Being ‘Cushioned’ And How To Deal

Emotionally cushioned you say? Ah, that sounds so lovely, supportive even. Wrong. Being cushioned is the term used to describe really crappy treatment by your SO. Basically, it describes being in a relationship and your OH is pursuing other love interests, keeping their options open. Yup, definitely not the loving the imagery this word evokes and certainly NOT something to ever tolerate. Read on to discover 4 signs you are being cushioned and how to deal.

1. Passive-Aggressive Signs

4 signs you are being cushioned and how to deal
Credit: Pixabay

Suddenly, your OH is acting out of character. Instead of being considerate and receptive, he is acting cold and making passive-aggressive comments. This is a sure sign that things aren’t peachy. Now, this could be down to a number of issues. You need to eliminate the other options and look for additional signals he is dipping his toe back into the pond.

2.Red Flag: He Goes off to Flirt With Someone When You Are Both Out

4 signs you are being cushioned how to deal
Credit: Giphy

Perhaps you are out together – let’s say at the supermarket – and he wanders off. You find him half an hour later being very flirty with another woman (and doesn’t even notice he’s been spotted). You approach, they grin and disperse. Then, when you ask who the person is, your SO becomes aggressive and causes a row. That alarm bell should be causing some temporary deafness right now. Unprovoked anger is a sign of guilt. The best form of defence is attack! Should this behaviour become a regular occurrence, you may want to re-evaluate the worth of your relationship.

3. Cushioned Sign if He Never Leaves His Phone Behind

4 signs you are being cushioned and how to deal
Credit: Mohamed /Pixabay

Should he go from acting laidback to taking his phone wherever he goes (even to the toilet), this is a definite sign he is cushioning you. Never wanting his phone to be viewed by you can only mean one thing. If he isn’t doing the dirty, it is on the cards. Sorry, but face up and move on. Stat.

4. Final Sign: Having 2 Facebook Accounts

4 signs you are being cushioned and how to deal
Credit: Simon Steinburger / Pixabay

If you happen upon this discovery, it’s time to start picturing those running shoes and far away hills.

How to Deal With Being Cushioned

Should your relationship be fresh and new there may be some room to manoeuvre. Many people go through this stage at the beginning of a relationship. However, once you are ‘official’ throwing your rod in and seeing what else you can catch is just not okay. Even if they haven’t full-on cheated, it is still being insincere, and you should not put up with it. Call him out on it. You could forgive and give a second chance – but if they are behaving this way, do you really believe the future looks bright. Time to take off the tinted glasses.

For more relationship articles try: “Has the lockdown revealed the true state of your relationship?”

3 Mental Health Conditions That Turn People Into Dicks

Hey, Lovelies!

Finally, people are waking up to the fact that the majority of people will suffer from mental health issues at some point in life. Why, then, do people turn into such dicks when confronted with a person suffering from a mental health condition?  You would think that given the fact we are plummeting into a mental health black hole; an upcoming era consumed by this neglected crisis – people might be a little kinder. But, alas, when faced with a situation that makes a person uncomfortable, most people are just mean.

                                                                        Credit: Giphy

Don’t get me wrong – I’m not saying dealing with people with varying issues is easy. The instinctive defend/attack reactions are inevitably stirred. All I am saying is, knowing you may just find yourself in a similar terrible headspace one day, don’t be a dick. Take a minute before jumping to conclusions. Give yourself the gift of thought before making snap judgements and take to social media to destroy a person (and probably their family too).

To those who react in this way: Your opinions are harsh and based on little fact. You have probably had little interaction with the person you are demonising. But if you have, then shame on you. Maybe you live in a small town and jumped on the gossip train. Or perhaps you thrive on being drip-fed crap on social media – by a Facebook group who have a combined IQ smaller than that of an unfertilised egg. That said, once a seed of contempt has been planted in people’s minds, there’s not much that can be done to stop it.

Credit: Giphy/Free Gifs

I spent a long time wondering if there was much point in writing this. It would definitely offend quite a few. But there is a real injustice going on. The amount of people whose only crime is a mental health disorder. People who are treated so badly and called all kinds of hideous things often end up committing suicide. I feel I have no choice but to point out some disorders and reasons people react like such dicks. If one person stops acting like they are leading a witch hunt in the early 1900s. If one mental health sufferer reads this and understands these people aren’t worth one tear – then it is so worth it.

1.Staring

Credit: Giphy

Staring can occur due to OCD behaviour and is often triggered by extreme past trauma and anxiety. It is very rarely due to that person wanting to kill you or kidnap your child/dog or steal your bag.

If you notice someone and they appear to be staring in your or your family’s direction for longer than is deemed sociably acceptable, try not to judge. I know it is uncomfortable and therefore it is understandable that people can react badly. But, imagine how awful it must be for the person living with that daily hell and be kind instead.

2.Anxiety

    Credit: Giphy/Free Gifs

Those who suffer from anxiety are going through enough without having to deal with being treated unfairly. If someone doesn’t answer you or avoids eye contact, often they aren’t being rude or pyscho. They are struggling massively. Fear and dread can be all-consuming. The sufferer who appears to be acting strangely is just wishing they could run the hell away and hide. Nothing sinister and not worth your hate.

3.Depression

Credit: Giphy/Free Gifs

This illness affects so many people and yet, somehow people still act like dicks around sufferers. ‘He looks like fun, not!’ and, ‘Look at her just staring at the ground.’ Some of the comments that precede abuse across social media or via Chinese whispers. Before you know – it’s become a free-for-all. Vultures savagely ripping a sufferer’s life apart with all kinds of accusations. As if life isn’t hard enough.

Credit: Giphy

If you take something away from this article, let it be this: People suffering don’t choose to act differently. In general, the last thing they want is to upset you. Often in an over-the-top attempt to be accepted, their conditions cause them to behave in a more socially unacceptable fashion.

However, whatever crap you feel from momentarily feeling embarrassed/freaked out/uncomfortable, I can assure you the sufferer will be feeling an infinite amount worse about themselves. Don’t be malicious. Would you be able to look yourself in the mirror if you heard of their suicide, their children devastated? How would you feel when it turned out they were a loving parent who just suffered from a condition that made them act a bit weird?

In an age where we are all struggling, can’t people make a bit of an effort to take a break from being a dick? After all, one day, it might be you.

New Year’s Resolutions Easy Enough To Keep

Hey Lovelies!

Happy New Year to you all! 2019 seemed to come and go at warp speed, before last year’s resolutions had chance to leave the ground. So, I’m thinking this year’s resolutions need to be a tad more attainable. Here goes:

1.Let Go of The Past

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Credit: Giphy

Trudging around like a camel carrying saddlebags crammed with more of yesterday’s baggage than you can deal, isn’t exactly going to propel you into any kind of worthwhile future. If (like me) you tend to torture yourself over the past, now is the time to let it all go. Give yourself a chance. It may just be okay!

2.Challenge Yourself

Gif of challenging yourself deborah meaden dragons den
Credit: Giphy

There’s never been a better time to give yourself a challenge – something you have always wanted to do, learn or try. Life is short – don’t keep putting things off until tomorrow, because one day it will be too late.

3.Don’t Give Up

gif of not giving up, finding nemo
Credit: Giphy

This is one I will have to incorporate into a daily mantra. I’ve learnt that when you feel the least motivated and about as disheartened as it gets – this is the time to find some inner strength, pull yourself back up and keep on.

4.Drink WATER!

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Credit: Giphy

Yeah, yeah. I realise this sounds ridiculous. But believe me – when you drink as much Red Bull as I do, drinking water is pretty important. I get how much H20 helps your body, brain and skin and so why does it feel like I am forcing down Devil’s blood or something? Seriously wrong. If anyone out there has struggled and overcome this problem, let me know. Maybe we could start a helpline. Say Yes to water!

5.Spend A Few Hours A Week On You!

gif of having time for you, pretty woman
Credit: Giphy

For me, every day is the same. I look after my children, my nan, work, clean, cook. Then should there be any trace of energy left in my being, I work some more. Well, the Cinderella days are over. I vow to give myself a few hours each week that are just for me. Be it a face mask and bath, an hour in the middle of the day to sleep or the book that I bought 6 months ago that is still sat looking sadly dejected on the shelf. Should you find yourself in a similar sorry state of affairs, now is the time to make a change. Life will roll along more smoothly if you look after yourself. So don’t feel guilty – you deserve it!

What are your New Year’s resolutions? Leave me a message in the comments below. xx

The Best Novelty Christmas Stocking Filler Gifts For Him

Hey Lovelies

Well, it’s almost December when the countdown to Christmas will officially begin. I don’t know about you guys but every year I forget about the stocking filler gifts until the very last minute. This year I’m getting ahead of the game – check out some of the best novelty Christmas stocking filler gifts that are guaranteed to make him laugh out loud!

1.Camera Lens Mug, £9.99, www.iwantoneofthose.com

coffee lens mug
Credit: http://www.iwoot.com

Should your fella enjoy taking awesome pics, he is going to LOVE this Camera Lens Mug. Resembling either a Canon or Nikon lens, the black mug is also designed with dials, measurements and even a lens cap lid. This is a great idea – totally realistic and bound to make him smile (for the camera). Ouch, bad pun! N.B: IWoot are offering 3 for £20 on mix and match products.

2.Ray Gun Nose Trimmer, £9.99, iwantoneofthose.com

nose hair trimmer
Credit: http://www.iwoot.com

What a fun way of addressing that awks conversation about nasal hair removal! Buy your loved one the Ray Gun Nose Trimmer and there will be more chance of its usage!

3.Flump Face (A4, £19.99), firebox.com

personalised marshmallow
Credit: http://www.firebox.com

This is so hilarious it will make anyone’s Christmas. Choose a picture of someone your guy really can’t stand (i.e. – the boss who never gives that promotion), send it to Firebox and they will send the edible marshmallow picture to eat – with or without toasting! Just make sure the gift is out of sight when visitors come around. N.B: Ensure you order before December 18th to guarantee arrival in time for Christmas.

4.Beer Popcorn, £7.99, firebox.com

beer popcorn
Credit: http://www.firebox.com

If your fella likes his beer or lager, he will adore you for this little treat. Available in German Weissbier, Irish Stout and Pale Ale, the beer popcorn is a must-have accompaniment whilst you cosy up to watch the Christmas movies.

5.Anti Bullsh*t Breath Spray, £2.99, findmeagift.co.uk

Anti bullshit breath spray
Credit: http://www.findmeagift.co.uk

Ok, I couldn’t resist this one. Should you feel like this may apply more frequently than not, have a little fun and add the novelty breath spray to his Christmas stocking.

a gif christmas gift
giphy.com

Happy Shopping People xx

Hair Primers Guaranteed To Defy The Strongest Of Heatwaves

Hey Lovelies!

I hope you are all enjoying the continuing miracle that is this UK heatwave. Whilst the majority of us are slapping on extra primer in an effort to prevent our makeup melting down our faces (causing us to look like a waxwork reject), many of us still are not applying hair primer. In this weather we really need the hair primer.

The beauty Gods have bestowed upon us hair primers of which can treat a whole array of haircare needs. Primers thoroughly condition, hydrate and protect – ensuring your locks remain shiny and super soft whilst enjoying SAS-like protection against these extreme (but much-loved) sun rays. Say goodbye to dehydrated, frizzy and sun-damaged strands and hellloooo to gorgeousness. Check out the best:

 1.Bumble & Bumble Hairdressers Invisible Oil Primer, £21 (250ml), Bumble & Bumble

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                Bumble & Bumble

Should you shudder at how suspiciously familiar a scarecrow’s straw hair looks, worry no more. Bumble & Bumble have your hair covered (in a rehydrating oil) so no more brittle, just beauty. Better yet, this ‘invisible’ spray is practically undetectable and ensures your locks are detangled, silky and effectively protected from UV damage. This product enables fast and easy styling, too.  #hairgoals!

 2.L’Oréal Professionnel Mythic Oil Original Oil, £12.75 (100ml), look fantastic.com

There’s one thing we hate about the sun and that is it makes already frizz-prone hair that much worse. Put an end to those frizzy woes by applying a little L’Oréal, and you will be rocking a super-soft shine all day long. This incredible oil also heat protects for up to 230 degrees!

(suitable for all hair types)

 3.Kerastase Resistance Therapiste Serum, £22.90 (30ml), kerastase.co.uk

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Credit: kerastase.co.uk

This awesome serum is the go-to choice for those with fairly damaged or thick and unruly hair. The Resistance Therapiste Serum basically covers all the usual requirements such as conditioning and hydrating, but also offers amino acids and an innovative FIBRA-KAP™ formula that repairs and restructures, whilst simultaneously providing maximum heat protection and minimising further breakage! Result.

Do you have a fave primer? Please leave your comments below.

Happy Sunny Sunday People xx

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